8 Weeks

I had this dream last night that we had a girl. Maybe it was because we were with Joe and Lisa and their girls yesterday at Legaland since we are visiting San Diego. Let me see if I can remember this accurately.

I recall that we had the baby and I had put the baby down to sleep. We were not alone at home, I think it might have been at my parents home in Chicago, but there were definitely other people around. Then when I went back to pick up the baby, she had grown quite a bit, maybe to the age of 3, and able to stand. As we stood by the sofa, I would practice kicking as if I was doing some martial arts move and she would copy me. At that moment, I felt so proud of my baby. I guess by that time she was no longer a baby but a little girl. The sad thing was, I felt that her baby years had just passed by in a blink of an eye.

After this I woke up briefly and went back to sleep. When I fell back asleep, the dream continued and the same girl had now turned 16 and I was driving with her, but this time I was teaching her how to drive. This was a little scary for me because she was no longer the little girl but a teenager. For some reason, the driving itself did not concern me, but the thought that I had missed my girls life again saddened me.

Now here is the funny thing, we have not had this baby, and I definitely don't know what the sex is. But in these dreams, the most amazing thing is feeling a little of what fatherhood is like. It is funny how our brains can extrapolate certain experiences and apply them to our future, even though it has never happened. I have never been a father, but I can get just a glimpse of what fatherhood must be like through my dreams.

So that was my dream last night. As for the pregnancy thus far, everything seems to be ok but that is really a dual edged sword. So Mimi's nautea related to her pregnancy is there more often than not. Compared to two weeks ago, things have gotten better. I can see moments when she does not feel as sick. I see when she is able to eat more, hold down food better, and of course there are the cravings. For instance, last night we were trying to figure out where to eat since we are visiting San Diego. I mentioned a few ethnic varieties, and when I mentioned Korean her eyes lit up and I knew that was what we should do. When we went, she ate everything and finished it all. It was good to see her eat that way. After dinner, we went to get yogurt from Yogurt World and this also seemed to really help her feel much better. In the end, it seems that in this first trimester, there are things that help her and things that don't. It really becomes a system of trial and error. So far, we know that protein such as steaks and other meats have been helpful. Something sour and more spicy has been appealing to her. Something cold and watery, like frozen yogurt or ice cream also sits well with her. Being that this is our first, we're learning as we go. I'm sure that by the second kid, we'll hopefully have this down a little better.

The 9th weeks is our current target, mainly because this was as far as the other baby got to last time. After the 9th week, our goal will be the end of the first trimester which is week 13. After that, I hope that Mimi and I can breathe a little sigh of relief as we have cleared a major hurdle in the baby's developmental process.

So far, we feel blessed by this pregnancy. Being that many of our friends have gone through this before us, we're getting lots of advice and for our brother's and sister's in Christ, they are praying for a healthy development. One of the greatest moments of sharing this news was with the small group. These are, I feel, some of the closest people to us. They have seen us go through some difficult times and now they get to share in our joy. The saying, "A sorrow shared is halfed and a joy shared is doubled" really rings true with our small group. I'm so thankful to God that we have these people to lean upon.

So finally, my prayer to God is that He be the one who nourishes the baby, watches over the health of Mimi, and continues to prepare us to be Godly parents. If it means through those whom we know who are Godly parents, books that we read, dreams that God gives us, so let it be. Should anything happen such as this baby not making it to full term, I would pray that God let it be made clear to us why so that we may heal. Of course, I pray that we would not have to encounter this again, but God has His reasons.

By the way, today is our second anniversary, and when my wife reads this, I want to wish her a happy anniversary. She is the most beautiful woman I know, my best friend, and I could not be more happy to share my life with her. I thank God every day that she is with me, and I am blessed by her. Amen.