Baby's First Christmas

Today is Christmas day, the original due date of Phoebe. We thank God that she is here in our life, healthy as can be. She is God's Christmas gift to us this year. There is nothing else I need nor want.

Being that it is our first Christmas as a family, I just wanted to give thanks to our God whose love and grace has given us this baby girl. She is changing my life day by day, and I'm always so excited to develop my role and husband and now father. God knew in our hearts that we wanted to have children, and in our prayers, we asked God for a healthy child that we could love, care for, and grow with. God answered our prayers this year, giving to us this child, Phoebe. Both Mimi and I pray that God's wisdom be with us as we learn what it means to be Godly parents and raise up Godly children. Thank you God, for Phoebe.

I also wanted to thank God for Mimi. She is the perfect partner I could have ever asked for. We share our various loves, whether it be food, fun, good friendships, each other, and most of all our mutual love for God. This Christmas, I'm especially thankful that she is willing to share in the Christmas experience with me. I know that growing up, she has been taught in her local church that Christmas does not exist and therefore to not celebrate it. This is something that her mother still holds to. However, Mimi, having stepped away from the local church, understands that it is not simple the date of December 25th, but the meaning behind Christmas, the celebration of the birth of our Savior, that is most meaningful to those of us Christians who do celebrate it.

Being from Chicago and the majority of my family still residing there, I am having a touch of homesickness. Seeing a tree that is packed with presents and a living room that is overly decorated with Christmas stuff that my mother always does year to year. I mean, if she could set up a snowy town to help get into the Christmas spirit, she would. Even though one may think this is bizarre or weird, this is Christmas for me. Then there is the Christmas day dinner with more food than anyone could imagine. The table is busting out because there are more people than it can hold. The grandchildren sitting at another table eating more kiddy food rather than grown up food. Christmas music playing in the background. The warmth of the home sheltered from the bitter Midwestern cold. All of what I'm describing here is what I remember Christmas to be. In the years that I have been alive, I can only count two Christmas seasons that I did not go home to celebrate with my family, this being the second. For the most part, I or Mimi and I have been there to celebrate. This year however, since Phoebe is so young, we're opting to stay put and celebrate on our own.

A celebration is not complete with some people to celebrate with. Luckily, Ton and Cynthia offered to come over and celebrate with us for lunch. We decided to make a brunch out of it, and so Cynthia cooked her breakfast casserole and I cooked and prepared the remainder. It was a simple meal, but with good food and even better company. Afterwards, we just hung out in the living room, passing Phoebe around from person to person, talking about the present and the future. Of course, what would our get together be like without a little talking about investing and purchasing real estate. As much as I feel bad that we talk and talk with Ton, I know that when the time comes and we purchase, Ton will be there to help us and make the deal for us and himself. We are very lucky to have good Christian friends, whom we can call family now since they are the God Parents of Phoebe.

Now I am waiting for our dinner to finish cooking. I was thinking about a ham, but in the end opted for the ribey roast. Oh it smells so good as it cooks up. I will make some potatoes, Mimi's mother will make shrimp, and we'll also have some Brussels sprouts with ham. I guess that is our vegetable for the day. Then after dinner, I've rented National Lampoons Christmas Vacation to cap off this Christmas, and I hope that Phoebe will join me in her sleep in the living room.

All in all, this has been a very quiet Christmas. I'm glad my family called and I got to speak to most of them before they started their dinner.

Oh, I forgot one more thing about our dinner tonight. As the head of this household, I intend to set the tradition of reading the birth of Jesus every year. This tradition is something that my father did, not necessarily the reading of the birth of Jesus, but he would always have a time of reflecting on God's word. I agree with this and hope that this tradition holds firm in this household as well.

Even though I am homesick, I do feel that it is our time to set this family's Christmas traditions. I'm not out to make it seem crazy or wacky in any way, but to have us reflect on the birth of our Savior who gave us eternal life and so much more.

Thank you God for your gift of your Son Jesus to this world, and thank you for the gift of Phoebe this Christmas 2008.

December 11th Changed our Lives

This blog has tracked the pregnancy of Mimi, and the birth of our daughter, Phoebe Sone-En Lin. She was born on December 11, 2008 at 1:06 pm. She weighed 5 lbs and 11 oz, with a height of 18 inches. She is our pride and joy, our love, God's gift to us. What a wonderful Christmas gift we have received.

Let me back up a little bit since it has been almost two weeks since most of this has unfolded. On the night of December 10th, it was just like any other night. We went to our final small group for the year. Everything was the same, from the study, to the prayer time, to hanging out with good friends. We went to bed thinking tomorrow would be just like any other day, but we were totally mistaken.

That night, Mimi woke up around 2:30 am to use the bathroom. She had started feeling contractions similar to many she has had during her third trimester. I had read that the Braxton Hicks contractions were those where the uterus contracts to prepare itself for the eventual delivery of the baby. I typically thought nothing of them, and in fact I distinctly recall having the conversation with Mimi as to when and how would one know that you're about to deliver. The general concensus of those who have delivered before was, "You'll know". Needless to say, she woke up and could not fall back asleep. I however, slept through everything until about 4:30 am when I woke up to the computer on and Mimi pacing back and forth in the room. I lifted my heavy head and tried to clear my blurry eyes to see what she was doing, and feebly asked her, "Are you ok"? She replied that her contractions had gotten closer together and more intense. Within about 15 minutes, I could see her bending over when the contractions came, as if someone had just punched her in the stomach and she doubled over.

Now as the husband and one who had just woken up, I may have been a bit oblivious to the world, but even I could tell there was something different about this presentation. What were the clues? One was the pacing, she had never done that before. Two was the concern she had on her face and that she started timing the contractions. Three was that her own physical presentation was such that she was doubled over and in a lot of pain, more so than I had ever seen her before. Finally, my own adrenaline kicked in and I could sense that this day was not like any other day. Today was the day our baby was going to be born.

After waking up, rubbing my face, and grabbing my phone to help time the contractions, I saw what she had recorded so far and it looked like they were roughly five to ten minutes apart. We kept watch over this for the next hour, and when she was not in the middle of a contractions, we discussed whether we should call the on call doctor or not for her OBGYN. After an hour of deliberating, we decided it would be best to call rather than feel rushed in the end. By 5:30 am, we made the call and spoke to the on call nurse. Mimi gave the description of the situation, explaining that over the past two weeks she had gone from 1 cm dilated to 3 cm dilated. Her most recent doctor's visit was two days ago and she was making progress. The nurse advised her to go to the hospital. With the green light to make the treck, we grabbed her packed bag and jumped in the car.

In the last minute, I grabbed a bunch of things for myself and had to remember to bring the car seat. As we were heading out, Mimi let her mother know that she was going into labor and her mother, being the mom that she is, grabbed some pineapple cakes and clementines in a bag and gave them to us as we were rushing to the car. Of course, since Mimi was going into labor, she was not allowed to eat, so this food would have been essentially for me. We loaded up the new van, with pregnant mom, car seat, and wide awake father to be, and off we went to CPMC to have ourselves a baby.

On the drive over, Mimi was still experiencing pain of the contractions. I tried to drive carefully, playing classical music in the background to help soothe her, and luckily, it was about 6:00 am when we got on the road and it was for the most part clear. We made it to CPMC California campus by 6:45 am, and went to the labor and delivery reception center. There they took Mimi into a room and had her hooked up to a fetal heart monitor. They did an examination to find that she was now 4 cm dilated. Now what was interesting was that Mimi was afraid we would be turned back and sent home until she was further dilated. I too was concerned since by that time traffic would be building and I would hate to have to sit in traffic with a pregnant wife who is about to deliver. Luckily, they admitted her at 7:30 am, and we were transferred to room 205. When Mimi asked why they admitted her, the explanation was the old rule stated she had to be almost 5 or 6 cm dilated. However, they no longer go by that rule, and as long as she is making progress, they will admit her for delivery. Believe me, we were so happy to be admitted, and Mimi was even happier to know that she was going to get her epidural shot soon.

Once we were in room 205 of labor and delivery, our nurse for that day came in. For some reason, her name escapes me, but she was great. From the moment we got to the room and the time we were transferred to post pardum, she took care of us, had a positive focus, and walked us through the whole process. At the next examination, Mimi was 6 cm dilated and we knew it was time for the epidural. By 9:00 am, the anesthesiologist came in to administer the epidural, and Mimi was happy after that. We had her connected to the fetal heart monitor as well as something to track her contractions. I would tell her that she was having a contraction and her response was "Oh really? Can't feel a thing". So now for a Dad moment, I was there in room 205, starving from not eating yet, and very hungry. Yes, I had clementines and pineapple cakes to eat, but I wanted something with more substance to get me through the day. I was thinking about going to the cafeteria to grab something to eat, and the nurse said, "Oh, just order room service". I was like, "What, they have room service at a hospital?" She handed over a menu to me, and I ordered myself a meal. Now Mimi was under a no food order, so unfortunately I could not bill it to her, but I figured, what the heck, I don't want to leave her side, so I went for the room service. By 10:30 am, my food did not come and Mimi was resting in her bed. The nurse came back and noticed that I still had no food and called to find out what was happening. As it turned out, the food was delivered to another room and they had to redo my order, but not specific to what I had originally ordered. Oh well, food was food.

By 11:00 am, the decided to add potosin to her medications to help induce the labor. They did so and then by 11:15 am checked to see how far along Mimi was. To their surprise, Mimi was fully dilated, and informed us that the potosin was probably not even necessary. Now being fully dilated, the time was coming soon for the pushing to begin. Mimi was resting up and I was eating to get my energy up.

By noon the nurse got Mimi to start pushing. Rebecca Yes, the OBGYN was coming over to deliver the baby herself, so the nurse started the process. They started with slow pushes at first, with the stretching of the vagina. I was standing on the left side of Mimi and had my camera in hand to catch every moment of this delivery. At one point, Phoebe's head started showing. I was not sure what I was looking at, so I asked the nurse and she pointed to her hair, which was long and black. I had no idea our baby had such a full head of hair. The whole time that Mimi was pushing, more and more of her head started appearing and I could see just how full her head was of this black hair.

By 12:45 pm, the pushing was getting more intense, and the baby's heart rate would drop here and there. It might have been because of the baby's position and the umbilical cord was being compressed and therefore, she was not getting as much oxygen. With some quick manipulations the heart rate returned back to normal, and the pushing continued. By 12:50 pm, it was clear this baby was going to come very soon. Rebecca Yee arrived and the last stretch pushing began. With three or four more sets of strong pushing, Phoebe came out of Mommy and she popped out head first.

Here is another father moment. Standing there by the bed side watching all of this, I was just amazed at how quickly she came out. It was less than 45 seconds from the start of that final push to when the baby's head came out and her entire body followed quickly there after. I was also amazed at how long she was. Rebecca seemed to keep pulling her out, first head, then torso, then you see her hands, and then legs, and finally the feet came out. Just amazing. Of course she was covered in stuff, but that was quickly taken care of when the nurse grabbed her and cleaned Phoebe off with a blanket and immediately put her on Mommy's chest. Again, from that push to chest was less than 45 seconds.

Once the baby came, things started slowing down for everyone. It were as if this flurry took place, everyone is on their toes, and well, adrenaline is running through the room. I remember Phoebe crying when she first came out, but then being on the chest of Mimi for just a brief moment, she calmed down and just layed there shaking, probably from the stress of just being pushed through a small hole and leaving the comforts of her home for the past 9 months. Welcome to this world that was cold and full of energy. It certainly is different.

After a while, Mimi was stitched up by Dr. Yee, with minimal tearing inside. The place was cleaned up, baby given her first bath, and Mom and Dad started making phone calls to let family and friends know baby Phoebe has arrived. Everyone was so happy, but most of all, Mommy and Daddy were thrilled. We stayed in room 205 for another two hours, soaking in the newness of having our first baby. We were then transferred to post pardum where Mimi was going to rest up and heal with baby in room for the next 48 hours. I was allowed to stay as well and they provided a cot for me to sleep on. It was not the most comfortable cot, but it did the trick to get sleep.

The next 48 hours:

The next 48 hours was a little bit of a blur. After Phoebe arrived, the adrenaline started wearing off and fatigue started to set on both Mimi and I. Mimi definitely more so after that physically exhausting event of giving birth. Me for gettting a few hours of sleep and well, having been so excited. Phoebe was sent to the nursery for some tests and Mimi and I decided to get a little rest. That first night though, we wanted Phoebe with us. Of course the hospital encouraged it so that Mommy and baby could bond, but we also wanted her with us because she was ours. We wanted to see her, be able to touch her at will, and of course, Mimi was trying to learn how to breast feed her.

We often found ourselves a little blurry eyed from lack of sleep, and thinking about what was going to be our next meal. I did go home the next day to pick up Mimi's mother and bring her to CPMC to visit Mimi and Phoebe. In fact, that took the majority of the day. I also stopped by on the way back to the hospital to pick up some sashimi for Mimi. In fact, that night, Phoebe's godparents, Ton and Cynthia, were coming to join us for dinner and to see the new baby. They were the only ones outside of immediate family that we really wanted to come and visit, plus, we wanted to formally ask them if they wanted to be Phoebe's godparents. The hospital was also going to provide for us a steak dinner, something that they do for all the new parents who deliver at CPMC. They lay out this nice table cloth with sparkling cider, and its a nice set up. That dinner, in addition to the sashimi that I bought was just the perfect amount for each of us to enjoy. Then we took turns holding Phoebe, who was just this little tiny girl, and both Ton and Cynthia had the chance to get some face time and picture opportunities with her. As I'm thinking back to that, it is only fitting that the closest people to us, Ton and Cynthia, be there with Phoebe. It just made the entire event so much more complete. We had the grandmother visit first, and then the godparents afterwards. I just wish that some of my family members could have been there from the start.

Let the Effacing Begin

Getting ready for a new baby is a little like getting married. There is this day that you have lingering in the future. It is a big and special day. It will change your life. There are terminology that you need to learn, and the more you hang around it, the more you'll pick up and understand. There are people, companies, and everyone trying to sell you stuff or give their two cents of advice. The only difference between a wedding and having the baby is, there is this little precious life, a part of you and your wife that is now totally dependent upon you. It is no longer two people, but three. It is no longer where we will be able to pick up and go at a moments notice, but rather stay home and eat because of convenience. There are some major changes that are about to happen and they will happen very soon.



Soon is a little bit of an understatement at this point. Effacing, from what I've learned from reading these books, is the thinning of the uterus as the baby is preparing to make her entrance into the world, i.e. give birth. This week, the fact that the baby is now full term and able to come at any time has become more real for me than ever before. I was at work on Monday, and Mimi had her now weekly OBGYN appointment with Rebecca Yee. She text me to see if she could call. I was in session, but after that session was over I called her and asked her how the appointment was. She definitely sounded excited, as she told me, "Rebecca Yee told me I was 1 cm dilated". That really got my attention as I did not realize that she would start the dilation process this early. The dilation process signifies the first phase of labor, which is essentially from 0-3 cm. I heard my voice get excited, louder, and I felt a twinge of nervousness inside of me. I remember Joe telling me that it really was not until the 9th month that things got real for him and he had to pack the bag. In the same respect, that is exactly how I felt. He predicted that quite well. From that point on, I was very excited to go home and be with Mimi and talk more about what we needed to get done to prepare for the baby.



By the time I got home, my mind had already been thinking about how unprepared we were. There were so many things left to complete that I did not know where to necessarily start. We started by making a list of things we needed to purchase and do. For instance, we had no newborn diapers. We had no baby monitor. We did not have so many items that it became clear we had a lot of work to do in the short time before the due date, roughly 21 days.



I also became very curious about the signs of labor, since it really is hard to pinpoint what to expect. I also have to comment that the book, What to Expect When You're Expecting is a good book for information, but it just leaves things so vague and non specific that it gets annoying after a while. I suppose if we were robots then it would be very easy to state exactly how to do things like a manual, and in this way it covers the author's butt. As a reader and a new parents, I was frustrated because I wanted to know exactly how things were going to happen, and that is part of my own problem as a control freak. In fact, I now recall having this conversation with my intern Janele about wanting to control the situation of when the baby will come. She also had the same problem. and when it came to her appointment with the OBGYN and her baby had changed positions again into a breached position, she persisted in having the doctor perform the C-section on her.



So Monday night was crazy with preparation and doing baby laundry for the first time. I have to say that baby laundry detergent smells really good and I wish I could use that on my clothes all the time. We also made our lists and made it a point to go shopping this week. We are also looking for a dresser where we can store the baby clothes and also put a changing pad on top to make it easier and less back breaking to change the babies diaper, which we are told we will do almost 12 times daily.



So then comes Tuesday night. I'm beat from doing baby prep work. I went to bed around 11:00 and Mimi was using the bathroom. I distinctly remember her making a slightly larger sound because she had a jelly like blob that had blood tinge in it. This my friends, is the mucous plug. Yes, another term that to the person who has not had kids or is not yet there, may just sound nasty and well, too much information. The mucous plug essentially acts as a cork while the baby is developing in the uterus. It helps to prevent bacteria or any infections to invade the area where the baby is growing. It also means that for us, no more sex since sex might lead to infections. Believe me, I was sad to hear that, and yet excited that this baby girl is on her way.

Mimi has been struggling this week with the effects of pregnancy. In fact, I think most nights this past week she has struggled to get enough sleep. She will wake up at night, use the bathroom to pee, and then be unable to return back to sleep. I only know this because as a light sleeper, I am waken to the movements of someone else. When I notice that she is awake, I feel so bad for her and part of me wants to be up with her to join her as she struggles with sleep. She is great, allowing me to get back to sleep and not letting me join her in her struggle. I love her for how she loves me in this way, but inside, I just want to be with her. So Mimi, if you're reading this, thanks for letting me sleep these past few nights during pregnancy when the baby kept you up. It means a lot to me.

Not only has sleep been an issue, but she has been having other problems, as little as moving around. With the enlarged belly where the baby rests, she has been unable to get up from the bed, sofa, or sitting down on the floor as easy as she used to. I try to help her by pushing or pulling her up, and I can see how she would want to have this baby girl out sooner than later. I also can see how those who have had kids say that in the third trimester, especially the last month, you just want the process to be over. It certainly is not an easy time for anyone with an extra 30-40 pounds on you. Even yesterday, I saw Mimi struggle with an eye problem, most likely an inner sty. She also had diarrhea last night, but she says that it might be due to something she ate, but I think we ate pretty much the same things. She is also complaining of some back aches, typical for the amount of weight she is carrying on her belly. As I sit here and describe the process she is going through, I think any husband who has paid attention to his wife's pregnancy, can't help but loving her all the more for what she goes through to have this healthy child.

I think this is it for this week and we'll see how the baby is on Monday when Mimi has her next OBGYN appointment. We'll keep praying for them both and seek God's blessing on the continued pregnancy.

Baby Lin's Mini Van

Yesterday we picked up our minivan we purchased on Friday. Mimi and I have been looking for a while, and it was pretty amazing how God led us to make this purchase and deal. A few months back we looked at the 2008 Honda Odyssey in Redwood City. At that time we we're only looking at the deals Costco was offering and they were not bad. We worked with Pam who was not a high pressured sales woman, and Mimi and I were very happy to work with her. We decided back in September to just ice the deal since we both felt that we would be able to manage with our current vehicles.



Then the economy started to tank and we heard that car dealerships were going under everywhere. Toyota and Honda coporations were also taking large hits, with their stock dropping by almost half since a year ago. With the economy in such hard times, we figured maybe this would be a good time to strike a bargain with the dealerships. So off we went on Black Friday to go find ourselves a deal.



We first went to the Toyota dealership in Palo Alto and talked to Kevin who allowed us to test drive the Sienna on our own. The test drive was good, the Sienna was a comporable ride to the Odyssee, and the one feature we liked that the Odyssey did not have was the power lift gate which would make putting things in and out of the back a lot easier, especially for Mimi. The only thing the Sienna did not have was the camera in the back so that you can see what is behind you when backing up. We had a fairly nice chat with Kevin and essentially said what was the lowest deal he could give us if we were to purchase this weekend. He said he could knock off a few hundred dollars, but in the end, he did not give us a price that we would feel comfortable with purchasing at that very moment.



So then, we left and on the way home I asked Mimi if we could stop by the Honda Redwood City dealer. She was tired and did not want to do much of the talking, but finally agreed to go. We stopped by and tried to find Pam, but she was busy with another customer. We got put with Sheila who showed us the car. Now when we got there, the interesting thing was I asked if they had any 2008 Odyssey models. She said that in fact there was one more, it was driven by the general manager to Auburn where he lives so there were roughly 3000 miles on it, and that it was the last one they had on the lot. I was actually surprised that they had any 2008 models left considering the Odyssey was one of the best selling minivans around.



We decided to definitely look at this one and if we did not like it we would look at the 2009. We test drove it and it was fine. Looking around inside it was a little dirty, but nothing a good cleaning would not take care of. We found a baby passifier in the car, so clearly some baby had used it. Overall, it was a fine looking vehicle with some minor repairs like the side mirrors not working or the remotes not being programed.



So after test driving the car and feeling that it was good, then came the time to deal. We sat with Sheila for almost three hours going back and forth. The car was invoiced at $30,092 and then there was the $3500 savings on the 2008 models. So then we were down to $26,592. I then asked how much lower she could go and she said if we were serious about buying the car tonight she might be able to take a hundred or two off the price. (Typical car salesman response.) I said that would not do it, and that if we were serious there would have to be more to offer. She came back and said if we were "really" serious, she would knock off up to $500 off the price. That would then bring the car cost down to $26,092. After looking at this number and keeping quiet, I finally told myself, "Go for the price that would make you walk out this door." So I said, I would walk out this door with that car for $25,000. Sheila looked at me and said "Do you want me to be fired". I said to her, "Hey, what do I have to loose? I've got the money to buy it but I'm also not in a desperate need for the car, so here is my offer." She took it back to her manager and came back with another offer of $25, 742. I was intrigued and complimented her on coming ever so close to what I was looking for. I also said that it was not enough. I asked her what was the price to walk out the door with that price just placed on the table, which then would include tax and title fees. She said it would be $28, 180. I said to myself, this is definitely under the invoice of most places and much less than we would pay for any other minivan out there today, especially a 2009 model. It has nearly 3000 miles on it, but that is the bargaining feature for us. Also, the Odyssey itself was something that I think Mimi and I both liked, so maybe this would be the best time to pick this car up and make the deal.



So now I can tell that Sheila is really into the bargaining and she knows the deal will be made tonight. I also knew that this was going to happen and I really felt in the groove of the "let's make a deal" game we were having. So in my last attempt to get as much as I could, I said to her, "Let's just make the out the door price a nice round number." I originally was going to ask her for $150 off the asking price, but when I saw that we were at $28, 180 I said, "Sheila, let's just make it a round number of $28,000. She went back to her manager and came back saying she wanted our trade in as well. I said what does the trade in have to do with the final offer since it was not something that I had included with the final offer. I had a puzzled look and then she stuck out her hand and she said, congratulations, you now are the owners of the 2008 Silver Honda Odyssey.

Needless to say, I was a little surprised that we had won. We got it for just a little above the price that we were looking for, and in the end, we had the minivan. I suspect that their sales had been slow and for them, making a sale would have been a very good thing that night. They also knew that we were pretty serious about buying a car, coming in with our research and all, so they worked hard to make it happen as well. We did not drive it off the lot that day, but picked it up the next after they had finished detailing the car.

The funny thing is that when we went to pick up the car the next day, Mimi and I got into a car we thought was ours and started checking all the things that were wrong with it like the mirrors not moving. We tried the air conditioning, the radio, power doors. I mean, this car looked exactly like the one we were going to get, from the color outside and inside to the floor mats. Then Mimi, who was in the driver's seat, looked at the console and said, "Hey, there is a button for the rear power tailgait". I was a little surprised because I knew that our 2008 Odyssey did not come with that, but the 2009 models did. Mimi pressed the button, and I looked back and realized that if the hatch opened all the way, it would hit the wall. I quickly said, "Hit the button again, its gonna hit the wall"! She did and it stopped and then we were seriously puzzled. We stopped the car, got out, looked around, and said to each other, "Is this our car?" Then Mimi said to turn on the ignition and look at the miles on the car. Sure enough, the car only had 13 miles, which then told us that we had the wrong car. We were pretty excited that maybe, just maybe, we got the car with the rear power tailgait lift. That would have been awesome. We eventually found our car, which they brought out later after detailing it. In the end, we got our new ride and she was pretty as can be.

And that is our new car story.... for new baby Lin.

Week 35...Oh so close...

We're really counting down the weeks until our baby arrives. It is hard to believe that 8 months have passed by and we're entering our ninth month ever so soon. The changes are huge, and Mimi would be the first to say, "Can we have this baby yet?"

Sleep has been a big issue for Mimi lately. At least the past two nights, and maybe more than she has not mentioned, she has woken up in the middle of the night an been unable to fall back asleep. Every woman who had a baby is telling me that they have gone through this. I really do believe it is natures way of preparing the mother for motherhood. Getting them ready to wake up in the morning when the baby cries. Waking them up to attend and getting the woman (an man) used to the routine. Last night was the one few times I heard her get up in the middle of the night and I woke up too. I tried (in my sleepy tone) to get her to come with me to eat a bowl of cereal and try to get up with her. She just told me to go back to sleep. Bear in mind, this was at 5:00 am. I have no idea how much longer she was up before that, but she eventually went down to the living room and I heard her talking with her mother. I was glad that her mother was up already, so that Mimi could have some company at that time of the morning. I know that when the baby comes, I'm going to be up with her to help with the baby. My only question is, how am I going to get used to waking up at all hours of the night. I think we're both going to be so tired. Ugh, just the thought of being tired is making me tired, and I just got up and am having my first cup of coffee.

Today is the baby shower that Evelyn is hosting for her. I'm excited because this is a time for Mimi to celebrate the work she has done thus far of carrying the baby girl. Plus, we finally get some payback for the times that we gave baby gifts. We're not done yet since we're going to make sure we do the red egg and ginger thing after the baby is born. Oh ya, we have people still to get in touch with. I'm really thankful for people like Evelyn who are so caring. She is with her son Thomas and he is only a little more than a month old. She must be so tired and needing to feed so often and yet she was willing to host this baby shower. God bless her heart. We've gotten some gifts already. Cynthia already gave us some nice stuff off of the registry. Hee-jung sent us a baby carrier. Kristi sent us some items off the registry too. Selina gave us some clothes and bibs. Even Debbie Chiu gave us some baby things off the registry. Oh ya, and Melissa gave us the car seat carrier, which my parents already bought for us. I guess we're going to have to return it and we'll use that money to purchase the baby monitor. Good thing we can return them to babies r us as needed.

So I have been reading more and more about the phases of labor and delivery. The reason I keep reading over this material is that I feel I need to know what to expect with the baby on the way. In some ways I feel like I'm preparing for a test or practical examination and I'm going to be graded. I know it sounds so Asian of me, but there is that pressure. I think it has something to do with how I grew up and my own father drilling it into my head to study hard, study hard. There was the pressure for perfection. Did I every attain that level of perfection...no. I was an average student, and by average I am talking about B's and C's with a few A's scattered in the mix. I was in no way every very smart nor did I have much confidence in what I was doing. I'm still surprised that I made it this far in life regarding education. I did know that when I eventually worked I would do a good job because I am a dedicated and hard working employee and I have the desire to climb the ranks with increased responsibility. Why did I go off on this tangent, I think it is because I have work on my mind right now. Anyway, I am trying to learn more and more about what parenthood is like so I can be as prepared as possible. There are still more things to complete, like getting the baby room/office finalized. The crib and changing table/dresser are the two last things we need before we're ready to go. We're also considering to look at mini vans since the car industry is taking a hit. We'll look sometime this weekend and if we decide to stick with one car over the other then we'll install the car seat into Mimi's car since it is the most reliable of the three.

During my last post I was talking about the transition I was making to having Mimi's mother back with us. I have to say that I'm feeling much better about where we all are. I think we've all gotten into our routine, though there have been some additions that we were not anticipating. We got cable tv installed into our home for her mother. Now I know that I'm complaining because it costs an arm and a leg these days, but I have to say that even the first day of having it, I just wanted to watch and watch. There were so many things on tv and I knew that it would suck my time away. That is why this morning, I made it a point to not go directly to the tv and to do my journaling for the baby. So yes Mimi, as you're reading this, I do like it but I'm trying to stay balanced, and when the six months are over we'll drop down to limited basic like we planned. We don't need extended. I also have to say that it is a real blessing to have Mimi's mother cooking for us every night. I can come home and exercise and join the dinner. Mimi has been on liver transplant so she has been getting home super late. Kitchen wise, her mother keeps the place in order. I just have to take care of the other areas of the home. Today is my day to clean up.

So I finally booked the tickets for my parents to come and help us out. They will fly in on January 31 and leave on April 7th. That is a pretty long time and I think Mimi is wondering how that will be, just as I was worried about having her mother return. I realized I'm really going to have to talk with my parents and give them some guidelines to work with. I think my dad will be fine, by I can see my mother wanting to impose her thoughts and traditions on us. I'm just going to have to kindly decline and redirect the conversation. I did tell my father last night that I have a gardening project for him. It entails planting some flowers and or/fruit trees in the back. That would be pretty cool if he was able to take care of that, with our input as well. I do want to give him an element of freedom, but just not where he makes some fantasy land out of the flowers and other toys. That just gets a little weird. We'll have to work out a budget for the gardening and go from there.

And finally, we're approaching week 37 which is essentially when the baby is full term. At full term we can have the baby and she will be fine, or fully developed. Mimi asked her OB whether she could induce earlier, like a week. Sounded like her OB said it was ok, and that we should pre-register for the admission. I guess this means if we induce, the baby will come earlier and maybe not have her birthday on Christmas. I think Mimi is very much ready to have this baby and get back to her normal weight. I know it has been hard, and given that she is on her feet most of the day, I can understand that it would be even more difficult. Many times I worry about her, that the way she works so hard and pushes herself might be detrimental to the baby, at least in the earlier stages of the pregnancy. I know I just need to keep quiet and pray for the baby, because I feel that if I nag that only adds more stress and pressure to Mimi and it is already hard enough.

Well, we're getting closer and closer and pretty soon, I'll have to print this up for Mimi to read when she is in the hospital. At least that is my plan. Who knows if she'll even want to read all of this. I guess if she doesn't than I will since it is my chronology of the past 9 months leading up to this day. God has been very good to us and I have no doubt that He will take care of this baby girl we have.

6 More Weeks

We are now in the 8 month and there are so many changes to report. Let's start with Mimi. Her belly is large now and the baby is finding it difficult to move around. Almost every night, the baby will make this rotating movement which will drive Mimi crazy. I on the other hand, since I can't feel anything, think it is awesome to see our baby so active and alive. Many of the books have said that the baby's head will move downward during this time to prepare for delivery. I have to say that I might disagree since we often feel a hard part and we think it is the head. I suppose the books could be right and what we have been thinking was the head is really the baby's butt.

My interns have been commenting how good Mimi looks considering she is pregnant. They said that looking at her from behind, they could not tell she was pregnant. She only protrudes forward and not sideways like many other pregnant women do. In fact, I saw this one Asian lady last night at dinner who was pregnant, and she looked pregnant from every angle. She would rotate 360 and it was pretty obvious. I actually think Mimi is the type of person who, after giving birth her body will just go back to the way it was before, with very little exercise needed. I think that is just pretty amazing. I'm also a little jealous because when I gain wait it takes me forever to loose it and a lot of hard work. Who am I to compare, I'm not the one carrying the baby, Mimi is.

Let's see, what else can I comment about Mimi and the pregnancy? She continues to struggle with sleep. Last night, she woke up at 4:00 and was unable to return back to sleep, tossing and turning. She eventually got up and went down to play some Wii. How do I know this? Because I was tossing and turning too and I heard her movements when she got up. I was having a tough time sleeping because of my own physical pains of doing my long run. I am also a light sleeper in general, so those movements just wake me up at night. I know that when this baby is crying to be fed, I will also hear it and even though I might not be able to feed her, I think I'll be getting up too.

So with 6 weeks remaining, I have to honestly say that this is getting more and more real for me. I can feel a little excitement and nervousness. I know that the life we live without children is coming to an end and we will forever be changed. The freedom to go here and go there will not be available to us for a while, and we'll have more responsibility than we have ever had before. In the same regard, I remember when we were trying to have a baby and God gave us a foretaste just a year ago. Now we are having a baby and I really believe that we are ready. We want to be parents, Godly parents, and loving parents. I also think we'll have our share of mistakes to learn, but in the end, I hope that since we're older, we might be a little wiser too.

"What are my current concerns of worries", I was asked. My answer is this. I'm concerned about the health of Mimi and the baby during delivery. I know that for the most part, things go smoothly. God has made this process work perfectly for so many thousands of years. He will do the same. There is always this small chance that something may go wrong, and I would be devastated should anything happen to Mimi, and terribly sad should anything happen to the baby. Do I trust God? Sure I trust God, and I pray daily that He would continue to develop her into a strong and healthy baby. I believe God will answer my prayers and towards the end of December, we will have a strong baby girl and Mimi will be one tired mother after giving birth.

Mimi's mother came home this past Tuesday from Taiwan. She has come back to rest, reconnect with her friends here, and take a break from taking care of her own parents. I know inside I have been struggling with the addition to our household and I could not understand why, at this point, was I have so much trouble with the transition when I did not have this much trouble before. I realized that the social worker at work had mentioned something about nesting, that I also read in a baby book. Nesting is where we prep the environment and or our lives for the changes of having a baby. I'm realizing now that this is what I have been doing during the entire pregnancy, getting ready for this new life to join us. Since we moved back to Foster City, we have been trying to get this place cleaned up and junk stored so we could have room for a family. We are still in the process of getting the baby room set up, but even that involved moving books, furniture, and packing or throwing away more stuff. I've been religious about cleaning the carpets and floors and dusting, and I never would have done this in my younger years. All of this weighed on my mind and I'm realizing now that it is what they call nesting. I guess what it comes down to is when Mimi's mother came home, I had based our nesting on the two of us and there was more control with just two. Now that she is back there is a third person involved and I don't have as much control and there are unexpected things that creep up in life. This now throws me off and makes me question whether our nesting is secure enough. This is not to imply that I don't want Mimi's mother to be here, let alone my parents to come later on after the baby is born too. I'm just trying to get used to having this other party to deal with. Honestly, if my parents were here now, I would feel the same way towards them, that they were affecting the nesting work Mimi and I had worked so hard to attain. I'm actually happy that they parents can feel free to be a part of our lives, and I know that their help is greatly appreciated. We're definitely going to need it after the baby is born, and they are only a shout away.

In other baby news of our small group, Ton and Cynthia finally announced that they were pregnant. To our surprise, Newt and Joanne also announced they were pregnant, and their due dates were two days apart. How crazy is that? I also found out this week that my resident is also pregnant and due around the same time. I guess this is the time for making babies. There is the maternal or paternal urge to get the family started. I'm telling you, this small group will no longer just be young couples and singles. It is transitioning to a young family group right before our very eyes. This is going to be very cool because we can certainly lean upon each other for support.

Finally, I want to end with how much I love my wife. She is constantly amazing me at how strong she is, how patient she is, and how much she loves me. When I have things on my mind, I can talk with her. When I have a bad day, she is there to give me a hug. Despite her big belly and lack of sleep, she pushes forward and gets her work done during the day. Her birthday just passed and I was reminded that over the past 5 years of knowing her, a lot has changed for both of us. This is what I wrote to her in a poem for her birthday.

At 30:
You came into my life,
Making things, new and bright.

At 31:
You said “I guess, (a.k.a. YES!)”
When I asked you to be my other half.

At 32:
You married me this year and to no surprise,
God blessed our time, our families, and our lives.

At 33:
You and I traveled the world,
Japan, Cabo, DC, San Diego, Chicago.

At 34:
You and I, determined we were,
To have a baby, a boy or a girl.
God heard our prayers and now we can say,
Thanks be to God for the gift He gave.


At 35:
You and I will now be dad and mom,
To a girl, maybe boy, either one.
God’s love is good, perfect, and true,
Happy birthday my dear, I love you.

That night we went to ABC Seafood in Foster City and had us a nice dinner. We had her favorite Goo-e-duck, fish soup, large pea leaves, and finally a shrimp dish. For just a few dishes, we blew almost $150.00, but for this girl, that was a drop in the bucket. I would have spent double on her.

All right, that should do it for this posting. I'll try to come back more often now that we're getting closer and closer to the due date. My prayer continues to be that God would bless this baby, Mimi, and I.

8 More Weeks

We've entered week 32 and I have to say, Joe was right. The closer we get to the due date, the more anxious I find myself. Can I say it is a bad anxiety, probably not. The anxiety helps me to get my act together and start getting things ready for the baby. I think both Mimi and I are feeling it, the pressure I mean. This week, she has been really concerned about getting the baby room ready and things around the house are a bit of a mess right now. We've made it a point this weekend to work on the baby room, so these are my plans for this Saturday. We almost got into a fight, or maybe at least we had a small tiff the other night because I got upset that she was telling me to do this and that. I on the other hand, wanted to rest after coming back from a baby class lecture. I gave back some attitude, and then we sort of parted ways for a bit that evening until dinner. I think after dinner we calmed down and joined together again. I am sure the stress is there, but how can we work together to address the stress of having a baby. I know my job is to provide and make life as easy as possible for her now. I need to keep this in mind and be thinking about what needs to be done for the FAMILY.

I really need to commend Mimi for carrying our baby girl. I love her more and more because I see the sacrifices that she makes to bring our baby girl into this world. Each week, there seems to be at least one night where she wakes up to use the bathroom and is unable to return back to sleep. This can be from 3:00 am to 6:00 am, and she wakes up at 7:00 to get to work by 8:00. If that was me, I would be a zombie the entire day, with a bad attitude, and just wanting to nap all day long. She goes to work, will come home and even cook since I've been getting back later. She endures heartburn and a reduced stomach size, which means she cannot eat as much as she would like to eat. She continues to abstain from sushi or alcohol, which is something she would like after giving birth. She will still go out and do things even though it is tiring to carry the extra weight of the baby. She does not complain that much. She feels itchy because the skin on her belly is stretching. She feels pain when the baby kicks at times. I could go on and on about how many ways pregnancy has caused a measure of discomfort, but she bears it for the sake of our baby girl. I think this is an example of sacrificial love that God describes. It is really the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

We've decided to try a little study on our baby girl. I'm sure that this study has been done in the past, but being the psychologist I am and the researcher that Mimi is, we're going to try this on our girl. We've selected several CDs that consist of classical or soft music that the baby will eventually use to sleep with. The reasoning is this. The baby is currently in the womb which is the safest place she will be. She is feeling the warmth and security of the womb. She has hearing now, and is becoming more and more attune with our voices. She will actually have voice recognition by the time she comes out of the womb. So our thought was to play these various CDs while she is in the womb and start making the neuron connections of this music with being in the womb, therefore, helping her to feel safe and secure to sleep once she is born. We play 15 minutes of the music every evening, placing some headphone directly to the belly. We change the selection around in order to provide us parents with the most variety so that we ourselves don't get tired of the same music playing over and over. The beauty of this experiment is that we can use this music where ever we go. This can be in the car, at home, on the plane, going for a walk. We have a special section of our ipod set up with just baby songs. I'm realizing now that we're going to need a music player where we can plug in our ipod for the baby's room. Maybe I can add that to our registry. In any case, I'm really excited to see how this experiment works with our baby. I wonder if there are any other experiments we can try.

So dreams has been an interesting part of this pregnancy. In the beginning, I dreamed that we were having a baby girl before we knew the sex of the baby. Sure enough, we found out we were having a girl. This past week, I had a dream about the baby coming early. She came about a month early and she was the size of my hand. She literally fit in the palm of my hand. On top of that, she was born and was not breathing. I remember screaming to her to breathe, just breathe! She eventually started breathing, but that dream felt so real. I woke up a little jostled over the whole experience. I know it was just a dream and it was probably my unconscious anxiety speaking to me. At the same time, it was a dream that I honestly wish I had not had. When one month before the baby is due arrives, I'm going to remember this dream and try not to let it get the best of me.

Finally, I wanted to talk about these baby classes that I've been attending that the county sponsors. Since Mimi was not able to attend, I went by myself. It was a little weird since I was not the pregnant one but I was there. There were other fathers to be there, but they were there with their spouses. In the end, I was really glad that I went because it gave me an idea of what to expect leading up to the birth, the labor and delivery, and after the birth. It really is amazing just how much there is to know about bringing a baby into this world. It is also a good thing that know that this has been going on for centuries so our bodies know what to do and how to handle it. There is so much information that I got, I cannot recount it all here in this blog. Maybe I can put it all together into a book of my own. Ha ha, wouldn't that be funny. I was able to speak a bit about post partum depression since I was the mental health professional in the crowd. That was pretty cool.

So that is about it for where we are now. It has been an incredible learning experience and with under two months to go, we're in the home stretch. We constantly pray to God for continued healthy development of our baby girl and we trust in Him that his work will be made perfect in her.

A Joy Shared is Doubled

The title for today's blog really comes the joy of sharing the blessings of having children with those around you. Last night we had dinner with Ton and Cynthia, our closest friends here in the peninsula. They are just reaching the end of the first trimester with their baby, and thus far everything has been very good. We continue to pray for them as well as our own baby, but for them this has been a much longer journey. They had difficulty for many years getting pregnant, and after several attempts at infertility treatment, finally have this young baby in their lives. With Mimi and I a few months ahead, it is just awesome to share this experience of becoming parents with them. I'm looking forward to our kids playing together and sharing their lives. How exciting is that.

Mimi is doing well but definitely getting larger. She weighed in at 134.5 lbs, her highest weight as of yet. I wonder how much she'll weigh at the end of the 9 months. Her belly is pretty much out there and in the evenings we try to rub some lotion as to keep the skin tender and not too dry. She is so funny when she wants to scratch that belly. Last night I saw that she took her toothbrush and started scratching her belly. That was the best sight so far. She also has felt increased heart burn, is not able to eat as much as before since the baby is pressing up against her stomach, and will also have difficulty sleeping. I know I can never really appreciate the physical pains that she is going through since I am not carrying the baby, but that all just sounds like a sickness that just won't go away. I'm very thankful for the sacrifice she is making and the physical labor of love that she is showing for our baby girl. What can I saw, this Mimi is a strong cookie. She still works, is moving along as normal, and is going to attempt doing liver transplant rotation next month, during her third trimester. I think that is gutsy. In the same respect, I hope that those who precept her will give her a break and go a little easier on her. My biggest worry is that Mimi works herself so hard that she begins to have preterm labor contractions and we end up a little premature. In the end though, I know God is in control, and if that is how He desires our little girl to join our world then He will make sure everything goes just right and according to His good and perfect will.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this last time, but Christina had her little boy, Jake Edward Giacomin. Evelyn past her due date and should have Thomas any day now. Annie had her little boy Eric early. Eunice had her little girl late. She was a week late and larger than expected. All our pregnant friends are one by one having their children. Our turn will soon come.

In the mean time, we have lots to prepare for this little girl. We've got to get the room ready, start figuring out when my parents will come, and ensuring that we have all that we need to welcome this little girl into our home and lives.

One more thing, we've been praying for Mimi's job. She has gotten some good leads, at CPMC, Kaiser, medical groups in the East Bay, and some other smaller groups. We just can't figure out what is the best option. Unfortunately, on the peninsula there are not that many openings. There were, but they were recently filled.

So that just about sums up where we are today. Till next time...

Entering the Third Trimester

I think this is the start of week 28. I'm amazed how fast time is flying. Pretty soon, our baby girl will join us in this world and life will be very different. Things have also been quite busy lately, hence, the lack of postings since August. September just flew by. To bring things up to speed, Mimi is much bigger now entering the third trimester. She is having some difficulty with acid reflux, sitting, sleeping, and overall feeling a little more worn down due to the added weight of the baby. At last weight she was, I think, 132 lbs. She is definitely growing.

Evelyn has now left work as she is approaching the two week mark till when Thomas is born. My sister had her baby, Jake, so there is a new nephew in our family. I'll have to get a picture from her soon. There are many others out there who are pregnant, and some pregnancies are going more smoothly than others. Of the many pregnancy women we know, Charmaine and Zeena are the two who are on bed rest. I forgot there was also Annie who is also on bed rest. Their complications have precluded them from working, which must be very difficult. I do thank God that Mimi has been able to do all the normal things that we often take for granted. Even just getting up and going to work is a huge thing, even though there are times when we just don't want to do it.

Our baby girl is doing well. Mimi had an appointment with Dr. Yee last week and all seemed well. They did an ultrasound and everything was on schedule. Every night I try to put my face to her belly or at least my hand and feel our little girl moving inside. For some reason, it brings me great joy to know that she is doing well. Last night, in the middle of the night, Mimi was tossing and turning and I put my hand on her belly to feel the baby. I myself was half asleep. Despite my groggy state, I could feel our girl kicking and moving around and there was a sense of peace that swept over me and I fell back asleep.

We've also been very fortunate to have friends and family support us with the items to care for our baby girl. We got the crib from Joe and Lisa. We got the bassinet from Jenny and Jason, along with many other items too complex for my little mind to describe. We got the glider chair from one of Mimi's nurses at the hospital. We even got a ton of good clothes from another one of Mimi's coworkers. Even Maria gave us a car seat for when the girl is at least 1 years old. The only major thing we have left is the car seat and the stroller, both of which my parents have indicated they want to purchase for us. All in all, we're very blessed.

So now let's talk about weight, and not Mimi, but mine. In the past few months, particularly after my shoulder injury, I have been gaining weight steadily. I say to myself that it is sympathy weight as Mimi eats for two, but when the pants got so tight and I could feel my flab coming over the belt, I knew that I had to do something about it. At my lowest while working out, I was down to 166 and recently I was as high as 174. That is an 8 lb difference. Remember when I listed Mimi's weight earlier at 132. She started at 112 and that is over a time of 6 months. My 8 lb weight gain was over a time span of 2 months. How crazy is that. Well, for the record, I'm trying to loose it and get in better shape so I can carry my daughter and take her on walks with me.

I guess that is about it for now. We've got some learning to do in the next few months. A little less than three months until the baby arrives. We're looking forward to her coming. At the same time, I must admit that I am a little nervous. I guess I look at it like this, about a month prior to the birth, I'll buckle down and start studying what to expect during labor. It is exactly how I deal with presentations and stuff like that. I need about a month to prepare and then I get it done.

So till then, we continue to pray for continued healthy development of this baby and the continued strong health of Mimi. I also pray that in this troubled times of economic hardship, this girl will have a good strong life and things will improve for America.

Daddy's Birthday

I've turned another year older and at 37 I will have my first child. Pretty amazing. I've had a lot of time to think over the past 24-48 hours about life and the changes ahead and I have to say that they are super exiciting and quite scary at the same time. I don't even know if I've really processed it all. I guess I still may be at a loss.



Yesterday was a great day for me no matter how I look at it. I woke up with the intent of having a very relaxing stress free days. I did not go to work until later, say 11:00 AM. I woke up around 8:00, went to the gym, ran 2 miles, tried to lift some weights but was held back by my shoulder injury, and then soaked in the hot tub for about 15 minutes. I then went to get a hair cut, showerd up and went to work. I ensured that there were no patients for me to see yesterday, and attend meetings and gave supervision. All in all, a very relaxing stress free day. In the evening, Mimi and I joined Ton and Cynthia for dinner at Harris' Steak House in the city, where we have a meat eating fest. I think we're all a little meated out right now. It was still really good and I thank Ton and Cynthia for their generosity of taking us out. That was a nice and probably very expensive meal.



So the baby is developing well, as far as we know. She is kicking and moving around in the belly. We can feel her, and if you look close enough, you can see her belly moving when the baby either kicks or pushes out. Now that is what is very amazing. I love watching and feeling our baby girl move. There is something comforting about knowing that the baby girl is making movements and well, alive!

Daycare vs. Nanny

The discussion on daycare vs. nanny continues as we complete our rounds of viewing the day care centers in this area. Of the four we visited, the top choice goes to the Foster City Marin Day School, followed by Redwood City Marin Day school, Kindercare Foster City, and finally in last place, Palcare in Burlingame. Some of the things I noticed along the way was how organized were they? Did the place seen chaotic? Was there a good sense of security? Were the children well attended to? Did each infant have their own place for the items so that nothing got mixed up? Did they sanitize things regularly? All of these questions never came into my mind until I started looking at these sites. I never realized that when I was a kid, let alone a baby, these were the things my parents had to consider. Although, back then my mother was able to stay home with us so that made things easier. Unfortunately, we won't have that luxury in this expensive place we live in.



Then there is the discussion of whether a nanny might be good. I mean, we want to have more than one child, but can we afford to have two kids in daycare, which would run on average $1400 per child. Then the thought of one person being responsible for your child and how much trust that involves on behalf of us parents. Especially since this is our first, we are hypersensitive to what "could" happen should we put our little girl's life in the hands of an irresponsible person. I would probably set up web cams all over the home to be able to check at work. I would also try to have my parents overlap in order to provide some level of accountability of this new person, but then I also don't want my parents to feel that they are not needed or we are hiring this person to replace them. I get a little crazy thinking of these things. In any case, we're going to have to definitely find childcare between the months of March to June since Mimi has to complete her training and I cannot afford to stop working since I run the clinic. It is as simple as that.



Mimi seems to be doing well this week. There does not seem to be any severe pains in her body. She in fact has been able to go swimming at least twice this week, which is more exercise than she has gotten most weeks of this pregnancy. Also, her appetite is definitely there with nothing to really slow her down. She is eating for two and her ability to enjoy food without the pains of nausea and vomiting is quite a blessing. The only bad thing is that I want to enjoy the food with her so I have eaten a bit to my heart's content which has resulted in some further weight gain since only this week have I gotten back to my exercise routine after the healing of my shoulder.



I finally had another talk with my parents about the best time for them to come and see the baby. We decided that it might be better for them to come after the baby is born and either right before Mimi's mother goes back to Taiwan or after she goes back to Taiwan. This way, we don't have too much over lap. I mean, let's face it, the purpose is for them to see the baby and we would of course, love their help. With two sets of parents here I definitely don't want one or the other feeling that they are being asked to do more than the other, resulting in feeling less valued or more valued. I also want to make sure that Mimi and I have time to spend as a family of our own. Finally, I have to ask myself, how much is the baby going to change from the day she is born to two weeks afterwards. My guess is probably not much.

As I mentioned earlier, many of our friends are also having children. Today is the baby shower for Eunice and Alpha. Yes, I will be going. I guess I always thought baby showers were for the women and women only. I guess things are changing. I decided to go with Mimi since we might be able to do some city dining as well. I also want to support her. In another sense, this baby shower thing will eventually come back to us. I mean, how many have we attended and given a gift. When we have ours, that will be redemption time. That is right, all those times we gave money or bought gifts, we will finally get our deposit back. Yes, I know this sounds petty, so it is good for a laugh and that is about it.

I guess that is about it for this week. We're doing well and continually preparing for our baby. God has been very good and in the mean time we enjoy the company of ourselves with our baby girl carried by Mimi.

We're Having a Girl!

This past Wednesday we had our most recent ultrasound where we found out the gender of the baby. We found out we were having a hamburger and not a hot dog. This was the terminology provided by Joe and Lisa who happen to be visiting right before the ultrasound. Yes, for those who don't get it, we're having a girl. Before I go any further, let me introduce our beautiful girl's first picture.

So the way the story goes is this (and remember, this is from the father's view point). I'm looking up at the screen where the ultrasound is being shown. The ultrasound tech is going through all the checks to make sure that the baby is healthy and all measurements are within normal limits. I continue to look and look as the tech moves from the head all the way down to the feet. Of course, it is only toward the end that she then looks at what is between the legs. It was at that moment that I knew, we were having a girl. There was no hot dog to be seen at all. I was so happy at that moment and I looked at Mimi who was smiling as well. I know we were both just ecstatic about having this baby girl, but most of all we were so thankful to God that we have this gift given to us.

OK, so I also did say something like, "We had better start saving up for a wedding" since it is tradition here in the States that the girls family pays for the wedding. But you know what, after thinking that through, that is not necessarily true. I mean, look at Tim and I. We both pretty much paid for the weddings, well, actually it was Mom and Dad. Oh what the heck, I would pay for a huge party to celebrate the birth of this baby girl into our lives. It is worth it, every penny.

Let me share another picture/video with you. This is the coolest thing, a 3d ultrasound.

I have to say, today's technology is just amazing. You'll have to look closely, but you can see the picture of the baby right there, with her little eyes, nose, and even an ear. She is just beautiful. Mimi says that she might look like me and my nose. I think we'll have to find out.

OK, so here is the other aspect of our lives as new parents. So we started looking at daycare since both Mimi and I will need to be working. We have seen three different places, two from the same parent corporation. The two of the same corporation seem to be better. They were more organized, appeared to run more smoothly, less chaotic, and unfortunately, cost more. Well, one would not be that bad, the Redwood City Marin Day Care. Because I work for the County of San Mateo, I get priority and a discount for daycare for our baby. This is a real perk. The cost is just amazing. The regular cost of day care is anywhere between $1300-1600 per month. That is just a huge chunk of our pay check that is going to day care. In some ways, we are also considering to explore the use of a nanny. We often wonder if having a nanny might be better off, especially if we have more than one child, it would be one nanny for both. If we took them to a daycare, it would be the cost of two kids. That would really cost us quite a bit of money. Then I was thinking and have heard that there are some nanny's who actually will help out with cooking and cleaning, which would be an awesome help to us since we're both trying to finish up our training/work. I think Mimi and I are a little stressed about this, but at the same time we know that God will provide us with a good plan to take care of this precious one.

Needless to say, both Mimi and I are very excited and looking forward to the birth of our little girl. Now the birth seems a little more real and when we finally choose a name, that will make it even more real for me.

By the way, I wanted to just say that God is faithful in our prayers. Last week Mimi was having a terrible time with her sciatica nerve. I think I had written about it last week. Then on Sunday, we went to a new mommy's fair in Burlingame and there was a chiropractor there. He was able to do a small adjustment on her and she felt so much better. The pain later returned that evening, but the next day she felt like something had popped back into place and the pain was no longer there. This past week she has been moving around much more freely, nausea free, and overall doing well with the pregnancy. God is such a great and awesome God. The baby is healthy and mommy too.

So till next time when we might have a name picked out, we'll just have to continue to see how our baby girl does in the belly of mommy.

The Pains of Pregnancy

In sitting here reflecting over the past week, I can see how child bearing is one of the most beautiful and yet difficult things a woman is asked to do. Granted, God made things this way going back to the garden of Eden, but it literally is a pain in the butt. I also understand that each pregnancy is different, not only for the number of children that you have but from woman to woman. This being our first, is the only thing I have to really go with so I can only make observations of Mimi.

So the most recent difficulty is her sciatica nerve. This has been acting up for the past few days, to the point where she has difficulty walking, sitting, standing, or pretty much doing anything. The pain starts in her butt and appears to radiate outward. A good nights sleep does not seem to do the trick, and there are no pain medications she can take due to the fact that NSAIDS may cause pre-mature labor, and that is not something we want her to do right now. I had this old back brace from when I injured myself in Cabo San Lucas. Good thing I was larger back then because it fits her perfectly with her pregnancy belly. It does provide her with a little bit of support, but the pain still exists. We discussed the possible causes, and we believe that with the extra weight of her belly, most of the weight is distributed to the front of her body causing her to accommodate this with a different walk or stance that has now pinched a nerve. I honestly have never seen Mimi in so much pain and it actually scares me. I even wondered how she would go to work with this kind of pain if she can barely walk up the stairs and around the home. It is a good thing that she is on research right now because she can take it easy, but this is quite concerning.

So let's review the physical difficulties of her pregnancy so far. It started with the nausea and vomiting which lasted into the fourth month. Then there was also the extreme fatigue, which pretty much coincided with the nausea. Now comes the sciatica nerve, which is almost crippling for her. The scary thing is that, we are only at the midway point.

We continue to pray for the pregnancy and the baby, and we know and trust that God will take care of her and the baby. The baby continues to grow in a healthy manner. The last visit with the OBGYN showed that the baby was doing well, strong heartbeat, and we received the results from the testing indicating low risk of an abnormal baby. Everything looks good and we're going to find out the gender of the baby on Wednesday. I know we are both excited for this and look forward to start thinking of names and will reflect our love and hope for this first child of ours.

We met up with He-jung and her boyfriend Christian yesterday. We had mentioned that the baby is due on December 25th and Mimi mentioned that I wanted to make sure the baby came before the new year for a tax break. Even though I do joke about it, I hope that does come true. In any case, He-jung said something very interesting. She said that as the baby comes into this world, he or she has even benefited the well-being of the family not just from a love standpoint but from a wealth standpoint. I guess there is some term for this in the Asian culture which I am not aware of, but I do hope that this does ring true for our child and or children. I do want to invest in them and hope that they will return the favor as well. I know that I want to do the same with our parents, for the sole reason that they gave us years of love, attention, guidance, and sacrifice, and I want to just care for them all the more.

Finally, I had a nice talk with Christina yesterday and we had the chance to talk about having grandparents around, let alone around at the same time. Given that Mimi would have just given birth and things can be a little chaotic as it is, I'm leaning towards having my parents come after the birth of the baby. Something tells me they might want to come before, but I would hate for things to get too chaotic for Mimi and I to the point where it just adds more stress to our lives rather than being helpful. Please don't get me wrong, I would love to have all of our parents and families around, but we would all be under one roof and I would be the only able bodies person to entertain and make sure everything was well, while still working. I just don't think I can handle that. Besides, I want to make sure that the new mother has time to really rest, relax, and do as she pleases during the first few weeks with the baby. This is really important to me.

We have a lot to do still regarding prep. We need to get our name on the list for day care. We need to possibly set up a baby shower. We need to register things. We need to begin thinking about how to set up a room or at least part of the room for the baby. Oh the list gets longer and longer and I even get tired thinking of it. We'll have to revisit these other things another time.

Almost at midway point

I am amazed at how fast time has gone. We're approaching week 20 and God continues to be very good to us. The baby continues to grow, Mimi is getting just a little bigger each week. Her last weigh in was at 118.5, from her starting weight of 112.5. 6 pounds is pretty good since they say the average gain is around 20 lbs. My guess is that the weight will start coming on during the second half when the baby begins to really grow quickly and exponentially.

We recently had dinner with Evelyn, Justin, and other co-workers of Mimi. Evelyn is about 2 months ahead of Mimi in her pregnancy. It is pretty funny because they are doing all the research on child care, stollers, cribs, etc. All these things that we will need to be doing very soon too. Luckily, we keep in close contact and can benefit from their research.

Mimi and I have been a little bit lazy on researching these things. I think we both are pretty busy with work that we really fail to address the needs of the baby at this particular time. I would not say that it means we don't care, I think it is not having the full mindset that we are going to have this baby and it is coming is about 5 months. One of the first things we need to do is get our names on the waiting list for these day care centers. The waiting time is terribly long, and so everyone always says we need to get our names on the list. In all honesty, I would rather keep my baby at home, hire a nanny and see if my parents can be around to monitor what goes on in the home. If my parents were not around, my paranoid thought pattern would be to hire a nanny, and then rig the house with cameras in each room that I could then view from a personal website and monitor every so often. The latter is going a little bit too far, but that would be interesting.

I'm also realizing that we might want to take a class on birthing. I'll be the first to acknowledge that I don't know much about it. I have seen a woman giving birth once in my life and it certainly was interesting. I just want to make sure that I'm prepared for our own child. I guess this is where reading the material that Mimi has for me would be helpful. So this is kind of funny. Mimi said that she knew I had not yet read the section of the book for dads. I asked her how she knew and she said that when she was younger, she would put a string in the book as a marker, and if the string was no longer there then she knew the book was read. In that little body of hers is a mind that is full of traps and schemes to know information. There are other things that I would share about how she finds information, but I cannot post them here. However, if you are reading this, you know what I'm talking about when I say that you are good at finding out information.

I continue to struggle with getting my work stabilized. In fact, the further I go with these projects, the deeper I find myself. For instance, the private practice situation has a few promising leads, but it might take a large effort for me to follow these leads. It is through Seaton Hospital. I also met with the president of the San Mateo County Psychological Association and she encouraged me to pursue assessments for adult ADHD. This is actually a relatively untapped market and could be a strong niche for me. Then there is the desire to pursue psychological consultation services to board and care facilities with Ton, which is an interesting endeavor unto itself. I agree that this could be very lucritive, but a large amount of work that I just don't think I'll have the time for. I found out recently, that a 44 bed board and care facility charges 5500.00 per person. I calculated it out to be about 2.9 million per year, not including all costs involved to run the place. That seems like an awefully large sum of money. This is something to consider in the long run, but something to do with a few people who actually have capital. I can then lend my expertise in this area. I guess the thing of it is, when the baby comes, I must shift my attention from the work to the home. I have to and I must put the family as priority. God knows that I enjoy my work, but the family must come first. The home is my sanctuary, where I can find peace, safety, and security. For those who don't have that, I can see how life might be very difficult. This is why I can never let this leave my mind, that home is where I need to put my family first with God as our leader, and make this the priority of my life.

He who has ears, let him hear.

We've reached the 17-18th week mark. Thus far, all of the ultrasounds and the doppler visits have been great. There is a healthy heart beat and our baby is moving around. In fact, there was one visit to the perinatal doctor where they did a 3D ultrasound. That was just the coolest thing, looking at our baby from the top down. Just awesome at what technology can do. Here is a video of our baby.

The reason I titled this "He who has ears, let him hear" is because at this stage, our baby now can hear things. The baby can hear the sounds of Mimi's body, can hear loud enough noises that penetrate through the womb. The baby is starting to develop the senses needed to survive in this world we currently live in. I have to say, God is amazing at how he can take two things as microscopic as a sperm and an egg and create a human being. The number of possibilities for things to go wrong are just huge, and yet many of these pregnancies turn out just fine.



So as it turns out, we are definitely not alone in the process of having children. Just to name some of those who are currently going through the same process we are, but at various other stages. Some are ahead of us and some behind, but all of us are essentially going to have a baby. My sister Christina, Evelyn, Jenn, Eunice, Mimi's other friend from her home church, Zeena, and I know there are many more but I just can't remember them right now. I think in total, there are about 9-10 other women pregnant right now. That is just amazing. My prayer is that for each and every one of them, that God will bless them with a healthy baby and that we can all share in the celebration of these new births over the next year.



I was wondering to myself why I was working so hard at work. I actually realized that it had to do with the baby coming. I want to make sure that everything at work is as steady as can be so that when the baby comes, I am not feeling the pressure to stay at work late and missing the growing up phase of the baby. I don't want to be the Dad who comes home late and the baby is asleep and I can't hold the baby. I don't want to be the absent father who is unable to make that connection. I've wanted children for a while now, and I want to be an involved father who shares my life with them. I want us to most of all, be a family unit and I feel that it comes from my example of putting the family first. I guess that is why I'm busting my butt at work right now, so that I can build the foundation and the steadiness that is needed for my staff to essentially handle things should I not be around for short periods of time. It certainly is very difficult right now with new interns, but I'm glad that I have the post doc and the new staff member to help carry the load. I just need to continue to remind myself that the job is a job, but family is forever.

I have to say, as new parents and this being our first child, there is a level of anxiety that exists beneath the surface. We know that in the second trimester, we're past the danger point, but at the same time, we're concerned that any little thing could or might go wrong. Being believers of God, we trust Him and have faith that the gift given to us will be cared for. We pray consistently for this baby, for health and we thank God for this gift that we have been blessed with. In the same regard, I think our human side over takes us and we want something, something more tangible to grasp on to. When this happens to turn to our technology. We're fortunate enough to have access to a doppler or ultrasound machine when we want to see the baby or hear the heart beat. This was something that Mimi and I strugged with this morning, and I can sense will always be a struggle until the baby is actually born. I know that we both have a lot to learn, and we'll have many chances to talk to parents who have been down this road as well.

So till the next time, I'll stop here. By the next post, we should know the sex of the baby and then we'll start considering names.

Nearing the end of the First Trimester

We are midway into week 12, and the first trimester is almost over. I have to admit, this has been a tense three months, wondering how the baby is doing, concerned that we may have another miscarriage. I've realized that it is easier to just expect the worst so that in the event something does happened, we're not shocked or surprised.

In light of that, I was thinking after our last Bible study, about how Jesus walked on the water, and the previous week of Jesus feeding the 5000. Each of those incidents displayed to miraculous powers of God, and how He in essence takes care of all things beyond what our own human mind can comprehend. The disciples in the boat should not have been afraid of Jesus when they saw Him walking on water, but be comforted by his mere presence. I guess what I'm trying to say is that Jesus is naer us every day, every hour, every second. Unfortunately, in my limited understanding of Him, I fail to hold that close to me and my worries get the better part of me. Trusting Him is the main solution to the problem of fear. There is no other way than to trust and obey.

Mimi continues to vomit, but not as much as before. I'm not sure if I can attach any particular reason to her vomiting so it is hard to plan what might be good for her to eat or not eat. I try my best, like preparing oranges for her every morning. Making toast so she can get a dose of carbs in her diet. I try to cook spinach for the iron. I try to make noodles because I know that is what she likes. From a husband standpoint, I really believe there is no rhyme or reason to the eating habits of the pregnant woman, so I figure just go with the flow and not try to figure everything out. I got a little ambitious with some of the items she found helpful at first, so I would buy them at Costco in the "value pack" size. Big mistake. I bought her a bag of fruits and nuts, and she maybe had some the first few days after I purchased it, but now I find myself eating it as a snack. I also bought some Welche's fruit snacks because we thought that might be an easy thing for her to eat. I also bought it from Costco and sure enough, the majority of it sits in the box on the kitchen table unopened. I suppose we can always save it for when we have kids come to visit, or maybe Halloween time.

I'm very glad that our first trimester is coming to an end. As mentioned before, it was a difficult time for the two of us. A few nights prior to our last doctor's visit, both of us had disruptive sleep. I remember having some vivid dreams, not necessarily nightmares, but just more unpleasant dreams. I also would find myself waking up much earlier than normal, almost aroun 5:45 am, and then just going back to bed for a little while longer. I would say the stress has decreased enough to the point where I can relax and enjoy life a little bit more, but I still watch over the health and well being of Mimi.

For a girl who hates to vomit and feel sick all the time, I really have to give her credit for toughing it out. I really had to push her the other day to go walking and swimming. I'm trying to make sure that she get just a little bit of exercise to keep herself and the baby healthy. Her energy level is so much lower than what I have known her to be, and who can blame her. The baby is taking the bulk of her energy to grow stronger and stronger. I am very glad for that, but continue to feel so bad for Mimi. In the end though, just having some small events to attend or easy physical activities has been very good for her. Even today, I hope to convince her to come and swim with me. With a warm day now, and the sun shining brightly, I hope that she will say yes.

I guess that is it for now. We've got the CPMC graduation to attend tonight, which I hope is rather low key. I'm not sure if we'll stay for the whole thing, but we'll see what happens. Till next time... Ciao.

Passed the 10 week mark

I think we're at the 11th week, or somewhere around there, and today we had another OB appointment. We had the Doppler done to hear the baby's heart beat, and when Mimi and I heard it, we both had a sigh of relief. That was just an amazing time, and we both just praised God for His continued growth.

I will say more about this tomorrow, but I just wanted to make a quick note that God is so good for answering our prayers, and the prayers of our families.

Baby Lin continues to grow well, with a strong heart beat, and Momma Mimi still feeling quite sick.

8 Weeks

I had this dream last night that we had a girl. Maybe it was because we were with Joe and Lisa and their girls yesterday at Legaland since we are visiting San Diego. Let me see if I can remember this accurately.

I recall that we had the baby and I had put the baby down to sleep. We were not alone at home, I think it might have been at my parents home in Chicago, but there were definitely other people around. Then when I went back to pick up the baby, she had grown quite a bit, maybe to the age of 3, and able to stand. As we stood by the sofa, I would practice kicking as if I was doing some martial arts move and she would copy me. At that moment, I felt so proud of my baby. I guess by that time she was no longer a baby but a little girl. The sad thing was, I felt that her baby years had just passed by in a blink of an eye.

After this I woke up briefly and went back to sleep. When I fell back asleep, the dream continued and the same girl had now turned 16 and I was driving with her, but this time I was teaching her how to drive. This was a little scary for me because she was no longer the little girl but a teenager. For some reason, the driving itself did not concern me, but the thought that I had missed my girls life again saddened me.

Now here is the funny thing, we have not had this baby, and I definitely don't know what the sex is. But in these dreams, the most amazing thing is feeling a little of what fatherhood is like. It is funny how our brains can extrapolate certain experiences and apply them to our future, even though it has never happened. I have never been a father, but I can get just a glimpse of what fatherhood must be like through my dreams.

So that was my dream last night. As for the pregnancy thus far, everything seems to be ok but that is really a dual edged sword. So Mimi's nautea related to her pregnancy is there more often than not. Compared to two weeks ago, things have gotten better. I can see moments when she does not feel as sick. I see when she is able to eat more, hold down food better, and of course there are the cravings. For instance, last night we were trying to figure out where to eat since we are visiting San Diego. I mentioned a few ethnic varieties, and when I mentioned Korean her eyes lit up and I knew that was what we should do. When we went, she ate everything and finished it all. It was good to see her eat that way. After dinner, we went to get yogurt from Yogurt World and this also seemed to really help her feel much better. In the end, it seems that in this first trimester, there are things that help her and things that don't. It really becomes a system of trial and error. So far, we know that protein such as steaks and other meats have been helpful. Something sour and more spicy has been appealing to her. Something cold and watery, like frozen yogurt or ice cream also sits well with her. Being that this is our first, we're learning as we go. I'm sure that by the second kid, we'll hopefully have this down a little better.

The 9th weeks is our current target, mainly because this was as far as the other baby got to last time. After the 9th week, our goal will be the end of the first trimester which is week 13. After that, I hope that Mimi and I can breathe a little sigh of relief as we have cleared a major hurdle in the baby's developmental process.

So far, we feel blessed by this pregnancy. Being that many of our friends have gone through this before us, we're getting lots of advice and for our brother's and sister's in Christ, they are praying for a healthy development. One of the greatest moments of sharing this news was with the small group. These are, I feel, some of the closest people to us. They have seen us go through some difficult times and now they get to share in our joy. The saying, "A sorrow shared is halfed and a joy shared is doubled" really rings true with our small group. I'm so thankful to God that we have these people to lean upon.

So finally, my prayer to God is that He be the one who nourishes the baby, watches over the health of Mimi, and continues to prepare us to be Godly parents. If it means through those whom we know who are Godly parents, books that we read, dreams that God gives us, so let it be. Should anything happen such as this baby not making it to full term, I would pray that God let it be made clear to us why so that we may heal. Of course, I pray that we would not have to encounter this again, but God has His reasons.

By the way, today is our second anniversary, and when my wife reads this, I want to wish her a happy anniversary. She is the most beautiful woman I know, my best friend, and I could not be more happy to share my life with her. I thank God every day that she is with me, and I am blessed by her. Amen.