Let the Effacing Begin

Getting ready for a new baby is a little like getting married. There is this day that you have lingering in the future. It is a big and special day. It will change your life. There are terminology that you need to learn, and the more you hang around it, the more you'll pick up and understand. There are people, companies, and everyone trying to sell you stuff or give their two cents of advice. The only difference between a wedding and having the baby is, there is this little precious life, a part of you and your wife that is now totally dependent upon you. It is no longer two people, but three. It is no longer where we will be able to pick up and go at a moments notice, but rather stay home and eat because of convenience. There are some major changes that are about to happen and they will happen very soon.



Soon is a little bit of an understatement at this point. Effacing, from what I've learned from reading these books, is the thinning of the uterus as the baby is preparing to make her entrance into the world, i.e. give birth. This week, the fact that the baby is now full term and able to come at any time has become more real for me than ever before. I was at work on Monday, and Mimi had her now weekly OBGYN appointment with Rebecca Yee. She text me to see if she could call. I was in session, but after that session was over I called her and asked her how the appointment was. She definitely sounded excited, as she told me, "Rebecca Yee told me I was 1 cm dilated". That really got my attention as I did not realize that she would start the dilation process this early. The dilation process signifies the first phase of labor, which is essentially from 0-3 cm. I heard my voice get excited, louder, and I felt a twinge of nervousness inside of me. I remember Joe telling me that it really was not until the 9th month that things got real for him and he had to pack the bag. In the same respect, that is exactly how I felt. He predicted that quite well. From that point on, I was very excited to go home and be with Mimi and talk more about what we needed to get done to prepare for the baby.



By the time I got home, my mind had already been thinking about how unprepared we were. There were so many things left to complete that I did not know where to necessarily start. We started by making a list of things we needed to purchase and do. For instance, we had no newborn diapers. We had no baby monitor. We did not have so many items that it became clear we had a lot of work to do in the short time before the due date, roughly 21 days.



I also became very curious about the signs of labor, since it really is hard to pinpoint what to expect. I also have to comment that the book, What to Expect When You're Expecting is a good book for information, but it just leaves things so vague and non specific that it gets annoying after a while. I suppose if we were robots then it would be very easy to state exactly how to do things like a manual, and in this way it covers the author's butt. As a reader and a new parents, I was frustrated because I wanted to know exactly how things were going to happen, and that is part of my own problem as a control freak. In fact, I now recall having this conversation with my intern Janele about wanting to control the situation of when the baby will come. She also had the same problem. and when it came to her appointment with the OBGYN and her baby had changed positions again into a breached position, she persisted in having the doctor perform the C-section on her.



So Monday night was crazy with preparation and doing baby laundry for the first time. I have to say that baby laundry detergent smells really good and I wish I could use that on my clothes all the time. We also made our lists and made it a point to go shopping this week. We are also looking for a dresser where we can store the baby clothes and also put a changing pad on top to make it easier and less back breaking to change the babies diaper, which we are told we will do almost 12 times daily.



So then comes Tuesday night. I'm beat from doing baby prep work. I went to bed around 11:00 and Mimi was using the bathroom. I distinctly remember her making a slightly larger sound because she had a jelly like blob that had blood tinge in it. This my friends, is the mucous plug. Yes, another term that to the person who has not had kids or is not yet there, may just sound nasty and well, too much information. The mucous plug essentially acts as a cork while the baby is developing in the uterus. It helps to prevent bacteria or any infections to invade the area where the baby is growing. It also means that for us, no more sex since sex might lead to infections. Believe me, I was sad to hear that, and yet excited that this baby girl is on her way.

Mimi has been struggling this week with the effects of pregnancy. In fact, I think most nights this past week she has struggled to get enough sleep. She will wake up at night, use the bathroom to pee, and then be unable to return back to sleep. I only know this because as a light sleeper, I am waken to the movements of someone else. When I notice that she is awake, I feel so bad for her and part of me wants to be up with her to join her as she struggles with sleep. She is great, allowing me to get back to sleep and not letting me join her in her struggle. I love her for how she loves me in this way, but inside, I just want to be with her. So Mimi, if you're reading this, thanks for letting me sleep these past few nights during pregnancy when the baby kept you up. It means a lot to me.

Not only has sleep been an issue, but she has been having other problems, as little as moving around. With the enlarged belly where the baby rests, she has been unable to get up from the bed, sofa, or sitting down on the floor as easy as she used to. I try to help her by pushing or pulling her up, and I can see how she would want to have this baby girl out sooner than later. I also can see how those who have had kids say that in the third trimester, especially the last month, you just want the process to be over. It certainly is not an easy time for anyone with an extra 30-40 pounds on you. Even yesterday, I saw Mimi struggle with an eye problem, most likely an inner sty. She also had diarrhea last night, but she says that it might be due to something she ate, but I think we ate pretty much the same things. She is also complaining of some back aches, typical for the amount of weight she is carrying on her belly. As I sit here and describe the process she is going through, I think any husband who has paid attention to his wife's pregnancy, can't help but loving her all the more for what she goes through to have this healthy child.

I think this is it for this week and we'll see how the baby is on Monday when Mimi has her next OBGYN appointment. We'll keep praying for them both and seek God's blessing on the continued pregnancy.