Watch.... Elmo... Happy.... Good......Night Night

With most families, one develops rituals. The routine that gets developed with children...that very routine that gives them structure and keeps parents sane. One of the routines that I find ourselves doing on a nightly basis was watching you tube. Why You Tube? Because for one thing, Phoebe loves watching the musical performances of Wicked, and secondly, because the computer is in her room and it is the easiest way to have her view it right before bed.

Now I know it sounds a little crazy that we watch something before bed time, but I have come to realize that there is some real benefit from it. For one thing, it is time for who ever is putting the child to sleep, to bond with them. You get to really know their likes, dislikes, and see how they interact with the music. I personally only use music because that is what Phoebe enjoys, but I suppose it could be most anything. With music I have found that it adds that extra sensory element, hearing plus seeing, to help make it more memorable for the child. So then, when we take Phoebe on the road, in a car that does not have a video player, I can play the same music and I can tell she is watching the video in her head as she hears the music. The most rewarding part is listening to her sing along, and actually hitting some of the notes. It is just pure pleasure to hear her interact with the music.

Another great benefit of having her watch the videos is it helps to just calm her down and get in a more sedated state before bed time. Before Phoebe heads off to bed, she is asked to give hugs and kisses to all the family members. Then she gets a little excited and wants to start jumping on Grandma's bed. Finally we get her to her room where she often times just wants to play some more, but the offer to watch gets her to run to her room in anticipation of seeing her favorite videos of that day.

Speaking of favorite videos, "Watch" is what she says when she wants to watch You Tube. Elmo is pretty self explanatory. Actually, I have found the Elmo sing songs from Sesame Street to be just awesome. They have some of the best singers singing along with Elmo. Phoebe's favorites are Norah Jones and of course, Andrea Bocceli who sings a wonderful Elmo version of "Time to Say Goodnight". And finally, we have the Wicked Musical songs that Phoebe has come to really enjoy, "For Good" and "Defying Gravity", which she calls Happy because that is the one word she remembers from the song the most.

After a good two songs, with letting her know before the final song that after that song it is night night time, we close down the window and it is off to bed. In the inital stages, she wanted more, saying "More, More, More, More.." and vigorously showing the hand signal for more. Nonetheless, hold firm to the word of the last song and then it was off to bed for her. A little protest to be expected, but after a few weeks, it'll be routine.

One Plus One Does NOT Equal Two

So in my world of common sense, one plus one equals two. I know that, learned it from an early age, and believed that to be true. Now add the factor of children, and that simple equation just does not hold up to truth. One kid plus one kid does not feel like just two kids, it feels like four or six kids.



When we were getting ready for Allie to be born, I remember telling myself, no problem, we got through Phoebe, the oldest one, we can get through the second with no problem. We are pros now that we've been through one. Oh what a mistaken thought that was. Allie is nothing like Phoebe, from tempermant, to feeding, to sleeping. It's like they are night and day, and for that matter, Allie still has her days messed up with nights. You know what that means, sleepless nights for mommy and daddy. So now we have two opposite daughters, who are 19 months apart, and it is literally man on man. No more zone defense like we used to play. If you get a break it is because one of them is down for a nap or away at day care. If they are up, you are up. If they are running, you are running.



I think this is the very reason why it feels like so much more than two. There is no break to take, at least a much smaller window compared to just one kid. You know, with the first baby, she would take long naps like most babies do. So for a good three hours, we were left to do our own things like watch TV, cook a meal, spend some time together as a couple, go do a few errands, take a nap, or the one that went out the window....work out. Those days feel so long ago, even though it has only been two months. Now, Phoebe goes down for a nap roughly from one to three, and maybe four if she is extra tired. In that window, Allie is usually up and wanting to feed, and that means mommy is up for duty. During that time, daddy gets to run the errands as fast as he can for fear that Phoebe is going to wake up only after an hour or so of napping. Then leaving mommy with just the two would not be a good thing for mommy, and ultimately, daddy.

Man vs Zone

So here is the difference between man vs. zone when it comes to kids. If you are a single parent with one child, it's man on man. If you are a dual parent family with one child, it is zone. If you are a dual parents family with two children it is man on man.

As most of you guys know, the zone defense allows each member to take a certain area, cover it, and trust that the other guys on the team is doing the same. In the case of parenthood with one child, the mother and father get to play zone. For instance, let's say you are wanting to use the bathroom where a newspaper comes in handy. You can ask your wife to cover while you do your business. Now throw in a second child and the play becomes a man on man play. The luxury of sitting on the pot with the newspaper is now out the window. You are going to have to either bring one of them to the bathroom with you, or let him or her cry or get into some mess. I'm telling you, with two children or more, the game play has got to change. Its a little tougher and more complex than with just one child, let alone none.

The Father's Playbook for Parenting Intro

Every night I sit in Phoebe's room, my eldest daughter, putting her to sleep in the glider with her head on my shoulder and her stuffed kitty in her hand. As I gently rock her to sleep each night, I have these 20 minutes to think about anything and everything. Most nights its about work or something around the house that needs to be attended to, but more nights than not, I was wondering how to share the experiences with other fathers who are as new as I am. I guess I wish I had learned about how to work with a baby. I know there are books out there talking about parenthood. There are those geared to both parents, those aimed at just the mothers, and a few really written for Fathers. What I failed to find was those written for Fathers that was created for quick reference. In some ways, I was looking for a play book so I could pick a play to use for what ever situation I encountered. This book is a compilation of my and other father's that I have shared stories with, regarding the raising of our children. Hope that it is helpful, but more so an enjoyable read.