Daddy's Birthday

I've turned another year older and at 37 I will have my first child. Pretty amazing. I've had a lot of time to think over the past 24-48 hours about life and the changes ahead and I have to say that they are super exiciting and quite scary at the same time. I don't even know if I've really processed it all. I guess I still may be at a loss.



Yesterday was a great day for me no matter how I look at it. I woke up with the intent of having a very relaxing stress free days. I did not go to work until later, say 11:00 AM. I woke up around 8:00, went to the gym, ran 2 miles, tried to lift some weights but was held back by my shoulder injury, and then soaked in the hot tub for about 15 minutes. I then went to get a hair cut, showerd up and went to work. I ensured that there were no patients for me to see yesterday, and attend meetings and gave supervision. All in all, a very relaxing stress free day. In the evening, Mimi and I joined Ton and Cynthia for dinner at Harris' Steak House in the city, where we have a meat eating fest. I think we're all a little meated out right now. It was still really good and I thank Ton and Cynthia for their generosity of taking us out. That was a nice and probably very expensive meal.



So the baby is developing well, as far as we know. She is kicking and moving around in the belly. We can feel her, and if you look close enough, you can see her belly moving when the baby either kicks or pushes out. Now that is what is very amazing. I love watching and feeling our baby girl move. There is something comforting about knowing that the baby girl is making movements and well, alive!

Daycare vs. Nanny

The discussion on daycare vs. nanny continues as we complete our rounds of viewing the day care centers in this area. Of the four we visited, the top choice goes to the Foster City Marin Day School, followed by Redwood City Marin Day school, Kindercare Foster City, and finally in last place, Palcare in Burlingame. Some of the things I noticed along the way was how organized were they? Did the place seen chaotic? Was there a good sense of security? Were the children well attended to? Did each infant have their own place for the items so that nothing got mixed up? Did they sanitize things regularly? All of these questions never came into my mind until I started looking at these sites. I never realized that when I was a kid, let alone a baby, these were the things my parents had to consider. Although, back then my mother was able to stay home with us so that made things easier. Unfortunately, we won't have that luxury in this expensive place we live in.



Then there is the discussion of whether a nanny might be good. I mean, we want to have more than one child, but can we afford to have two kids in daycare, which would run on average $1400 per child. Then the thought of one person being responsible for your child and how much trust that involves on behalf of us parents. Especially since this is our first, we are hypersensitive to what "could" happen should we put our little girl's life in the hands of an irresponsible person. I would probably set up web cams all over the home to be able to check at work. I would also try to have my parents overlap in order to provide some level of accountability of this new person, but then I also don't want my parents to feel that they are not needed or we are hiring this person to replace them. I get a little crazy thinking of these things. In any case, we're going to have to definitely find childcare between the months of March to June since Mimi has to complete her training and I cannot afford to stop working since I run the clinic. It is as simple as that.



Mimi seems to be doing well this week. There does not seem to be any severe pains in her body. She in fact has been able to go swimming at least twice this week, which is more exercise than she has gotten most weeks of this pregnancy. Also, her appetite is definitely there with nothing to really slow her down. She is eating for two and her ability to enjoy food without the pains of nausea and vomiting is quite a blessing. The only bad thing is that I want to enjoy the food with her so I have eaten a bit to my heart's content which has resulted in some further weight gain since only this week have I gotten back to my exercise routine after the healing of my shoulder.



I finally had another talk with my parents about the best time for them to come and see the baby. We decided that it might be better for them to come after the baby is born and either right before Mimi's mother goes back to Taiwan or after she goes back to Taiwan. This way, we don't have too much over lap. I mean, let's face it, the purpose is for them to see the baby and we would of course, love their help. With two sets of parents here I definitely don't want one or the other feeling that they are being asked to do more than the other, resulting in feeling less valued or more valued. I also want to make sure that Mimi and I have time to spend as a family of our own. Finally, I have to ask myself, how much is the baby going to change from the day she is born to two weeks afterwards. My guess is probably not much.

As I mentioned earlier, many of our friends are also having children. Today is the baby shower for Eunice and Alpha. Yes, I will be going. I guess I always thought baby showers were for the women and women only. I guess things are changing. I decided to go with Mimi since we might be able to do some city dining as well. I also want to support her. In another sense, this baby shower thing will eventually come back to us. I mean, how many have we attended and given a gift. When we have ours, that will be redemption time. That is right, all those times we gave money or bought gifts, we will finally get our deposit back. Yes, I know this sounds petty, so it is good for a laugh and that is about it.

I guess that is about it for this week. We're doing well and continually preparing for our baby. God has been very good and in the mean time we enjoy the company of ourselves with our baby girl carried by Mimi.

We're Having a Girl!

This past Wednesday we had our most recent ultrasound where we found out the gender of the baby. We found out we were having a hamburger and not a hot dog. This was the terminology provided by Joe and Lisa who happen to be visiting right before the ultrasound. Yes, for those who don't get it, we're having a girl. Before I go any further, let me introduce our beautiful girl's first picture.

So the way the story goes is this (and remember, this is from the father's view point). I'm looking up at the screen where the ultrasound is being shown. The ultrasound tech is going through all the checks to make sure that the baby is healthy and all measurements are within normal limits. I continue to look and look as the tech moves from the head all the way down to the feet. Of course, it is only toward the end that she then looks at what is between the legs. It was at that moment that I knew, we were having a girl. There was no hot dog to be seen at all. I was so happy at that moment and I looked at Mimi who was smiling as well. I know we were both just ecstatic about having this baby girl, but most of all we were so thankful to God that we have this gift given to us.

OK, so I also did say something like, "We had better start saving up for a wedding" since it is tradition here in the States that the girls family pays for the wedding. But you know what, after thinking that through, that is not necessarily true. I mean, look at Tim and I. We both pretty much paid for the weddings, well, actually it was Mom and Dad. Oh what the heck, I would pay for a huge party to celebrate the birth of this baby girl into our lives. It is worth it, every penny.

Let me share another picture/video with you. This is the coolest thing, a 3d ultrasound.

I have to say, today's technology is just amazing. You'll have to look closely, but you can see the picture of the baby right there, with her little eyes, nose, and even an ear. She is just beautiful. Mimi says that she might look like me and my nose. I think we'll have to find out.

OK, so here is the other aspect of our lives as new parents. So we started looking at daycare since both Mimi and I will need to be working. We have seen three different places, two from the same parent corporation. The two of the same corporation seem to be better. They were more organized, appeared to run more smoothly, less chaotic, and unfortunately, cost more. Well, one would not be that bad, the Redwood City Marin Day Care. Because I work for the County of San Mateo, I get priority and a discount for daycare for our baby. This is a real perk. The cost is just amazing. The regular cost of day care is anywhere between $1300-1600 per month. That is just a huge chunk of our pay check that is going to day care. In some ways, we are also considering to explore the use of a nanny. We often wonder if having a nanny might be better off, especially if we have more than one child, it would be one nanny for both. If we took them to a daycare, it would be the cost of two kids. That would really cost us quite a bit of money. Then I was thinking and have heard that there are some nanny's who actually will help out with cooking and cleaning, which would be an awesome help to us since we're both trying to finish up our training/work. I think Mimi and I are a little stressed about this, but at the same time we know that God will provide us with a good plan to take care of this precious one.

Needless to say, both Mimi and I are very excited and looking forward to the birth of our little girl. Now the birth seems a little more real and when we finally choose a name, that will make it even more real for me.

By the way, I wanted to just say that God is faithful in our prayers. Last week Mimi was having a terrible time with her sciatica nerve. I think I had written about it last week. Then on Sunday, we went to a new mommy's fair in Burlingame and there was a chiropractor there. He was able to do a small adjustment on her and she felt so much better. The pain later returned that evening, but the next day she felt like something had popped back into place and the pain was no longer there. This past week she has been moving around much more freely, nausea free, and overall doing well with the pregnancy. God is such a great and awesome God. The baby is healthy and mommy too.

So till next time when we might have a name picked out, we'll just have to continue to see how our baby girl does in the belly of mommy.

The Pains of Pregnancy

In sitting here reflecting over the past week, I can see how child bearing is one of the most beautiful and yet difficult things a woman is asked to do. Granted, God made things this way going back to the garden of Eden, but it literally is a pain in the butt. I also understand that each pregnancy is different, not only for the number of children that you have but from woman to woman. This being our first, is the only thing I have to really go with so I can only make observations of Mimi.

So the most recent difficulty is her sciatica nerve. This has been acting up for the past few days, to the point where she has difficulty walking, sitting, standing, or pretty much doing anything. The pain starts in her butt and appears to radiate outward. A good nights sleep does not seem to do the trick, and there are no pain medications she can take due to the fact that NSAIDS may cause pre-mature labor, and that is not something we want her to do right now. I had this old back brace from when I injured myself in Cabo San Lucas. Good thing I was larger back then because it fits her perfectly with her pregnancy belly. It does provide her with a little bit of support, but the pain still exists. We discussed the possible causes, and we believe that with the extra weight of her belly, most of the weight is distributed to the front of her body causing her to accommodate this with a different walk or stance that has now pinched a nerve. I honestly have never seen Mimi in so much pain and it actually scares me. I even wondered how she would go to work with this kind of pain if she can barely walk up the stairs and around the home. It is a good thing that she is on research right now because she can take it easy, but this is quite concerning.

So let's review the physical difficulties of her pregnancy so far. It started with the nausea and vomiting which lasted into the fourth month. Then there was also the extreme fatigue, which pretty much coincided with the nausea. Now comes the sciatica nerve, which is almost crippling for her. The scary thing is that, we are only at the midway point.

We continue to pray for the pregnancy and the baby, and we know and trust that God will take care of her and the baby. The baby continues to grow in a healthy manner. The last visit with the OBGYN showed that the baby was doing well, strong heartbeat, and we received the results from the testing indicating low risk of an abnormal baby. Everything looks good and we're going to find out the gender of the baby on Wednesday. I know we are both excited for this and look forward to start thinking of names and will reflect our love and hope for this first child of ours.

We met up with He-jung and her boyfriend Christian yesterday. We had mentioned that the baby is due on December 25th and Mimi mentioned that I wanted to make sure the baby came before the new year for a tax break. Even though I do joke about it, I hope that does come true. In any case, He-jung said something very interesting. She said that as the baby comes into this world, he or she has even benefited the well-being of the family not just from a love standpoint but from a wealth standpoint. I guess there is some term for this in the Asian culture which I am not aware of, but I do hope that this does ring true for our child and or children. I do want to invest in them and hope that they will return the favor as well. I know that I want to do the same with our parents, for the sole reason that they gave us years of love, attention, guidance, and sacrifice, and I want to just care for them all the more.

Finally, I had a nice talk with Christina yesterday and we had the chance to talk about having grandparents around, let alone around at the same time. Given that Mimi would have just given birth and things can be a little chaotic as it is, I'm leaning towards having my parents come after the birth of the baby. Something tells me they might want to come before, but I would hate for things to get too chaotic for Mimi and I to the point where it just adds more stress to our lives rather than being helpful. Please don't get me wrong, I would love to have all of our parents and families around, but we would all be under one roof and I would be the only able bodies person to entertain and make sure everything was well, while still working. I just don't think I can handle that. Besides, I want to make sure that the new mother has time to really rest, relax, and do as she pleases during the first few weeks with the baby. This is really important to me.

We have a lot to do still regarding prep. We need to get our name on the list for day care. We need to possibly set up a baby shower. We need to register things. We need to begin thinking about how to set up a room or at least part of the room for the baby. Oh the list gets longer and longer and I even get tired thinking of it. We'll have to revisit these other things another time.